Women’s earnings relative to men’s have stagnated at 73.2%. Research tells us that women feel a great deal of apprehension about the idea of negotiating for a raise in a current job or asking for a higher salary with an initial job offer. The fact is – it’s necessary for women to negotiate now more than ever before.

A fabulous book, and a must have resource for all working women is – Women Don’t Ask: Negotiation and the Gender Divide by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever. The book is an eye opener and a call to action for all women in the workforce. It provides how-to steps to execute your next ask and will empower you with the confidence to make this a regular practice in your professional career.

Babcock and Laschever discuss how when asked to pick metaphors for the process of negotiating, men picked “winning a ballgame” and a “wrestling match,” while women picked “going to the dentist.” They share that women are more pessimistic about how much is available when they do negotiate and so they typically ask for, and get less when they do negotiate—on average, 30 % less than men. Sadly, most adult women say they don’t negotiate at all.

The art of negotiating permeates the female consumer culture as well as the job world. According to Babcock and Laschever, women will pay as much as $1,353 to avoid negotiating the price of a car, which may help explain why 63 percent of Saturn car buyers are women. So why don’t women negotiate? Studies indicate that women have lower expectations and lack the knowledge of their worth in the workplace. Some women reported that they were so happy to be offered the job they wouldn’t dream of negotiating.

Ok ladies, it’s time to get with the program and own your worth. Another study indicated that women who consistently negotiate their salary increases earn at least $1 million more during their career lives than women who don’t.  By not negotiating a first salary, an individual stands to lose more than $500,000 by age 60. Now some of my clients have asked me “Can I still negotiate during these difficult economic times?” My answer is a definitive yes. You owe it to yourself to ask and the Harvard Business Review reports that the recession has not stopped men in the world-of-work from asking for a raise.

While I understand that the fear of asking can seem crippling, I urge you to assert your own needs and desires in your career and your life. Women Don’t Ask will show you how to reframe your interactions and more accurately evaluate the opportunities. By teaching you how to ask for what you want in a way that feels comfortable and authentic as well preserving your long term professional relationships.

Let’s face it, negotiating not only plays a role in our work lives but in our personal relationships and parenting abilities. Life is complex and the structures of organizations are changing rapidly so your ability to negotiate is no longer a luxury but a necessity. Babcock and Laschever draw on research in psychology, sociology, economics, and organizational behavior as well as dozens of interviews with men and women from all walks of life.  Women Don’t Ask is the first book to identify the dramatic difference between men and women in their propensity to negotiate for what they want. It tells women how to ask, and why they should.  

Get the book for yourself and buy an additional copy to pay-it-forward to another woman colleague who needs this tremendous resource. You won’t get a raise if you don’t ask so learn how to negotiate because you are worth it!