Are You a Career Perfectionist? Part I
In my coaching practice as well as in my travels for speaking engagements, I regularly meet women who are terrified of change. They’re afraid to change careers, jobs, or even pursue a promotion for fear of making the wrong move or not measuring up. Many women are standing in the way of their own success, and the roots of these self-inflicted roadblocks can often be traced to perfectionism.
In their book, The Confidence Code, authors Claire Shipman and Katty Kay discuss perfectionism and how it impacts women when it comes to career. During the course of their research, Shipman and Kay found that men have no trouble leaning in and pursuing a job, even though they may be underprepared and under-qualified, whereas women consider applying only when they feel they meet one hundred percent of the job’s requirements. Women feel they need to be literally perfect for the job.
According to Stress Management expert, Elizabeth Scott, there’s a marked difference between high achievers and perfectionists and the way they pursue their respective goals. Scott offers these 10 signs to help you determine whether you tend toward perfectionism:
All-Or-Nothing Thinking – While high achievers can find satisfaction in a job well done – even if the actual goal hasn’t been met. In the perfectionist’s estimation, if it’s not perfect, it’s a complete failure.
Critical Eye – With a strong need for control, the perfectionist is hard on herself and others for even the tiniest of perceived mistakes.
“Pushed” Rather Than “Pulled” – While high achievers are pulled to achieve their goals, and happy for any progress made, perfectionists are pushed to reach their goals out of fear of not achieving them. They see anything less than a perfectly met goal as failure.
Unrealistic Goals – A perfectionist’s goals are often set beyond reach, and are therefore unattainable.
Focused On Results – While the high achiever enjoys the process of chasing the goal as much as actually reaching it, the perfectionist is solely focused on the goal.
Depressed By Unmet Goals – High achievers tend to bounce back fairly easily from disappointment, whereas perfectionists beat themselves up and tend to wallow in self-pity – growing increasingly depressed.
Fear of Failure – Perfectionists are deathly afraid of failure. Their all-or-nothing thinking and need for control makes failing something to avoid at all costs and often leads to…
Procrastination – Perfectionists are so obsessed with doing things perfectly that they are paralyzed with fear. As a result, they don’t do anything at all. This leads to more feelings of failure, and ultimately a vicious cycle that leads to being forever stuck.
Defensiveness – Because a less than perfect performance is so scary to perfectionists, they tend to take constructive criticism defensively. High achievers, on the other hand, see criticism as valuable information to help them improve.
Low Self-Esteem – High achievers tend to have high self-esteem, while perfectionists tend to be very critical, unhappy and suffer from low self-esteem. Perfectionists may feel isolated and lonely since their critical, often rigid, nature can push others away.
You may see yourself in some or all of these symptoms of perfectionism. The good news is that, by becoming more aware of these tendencies, you can start to notice when you’re heading down the road to perfectionism, and work to change your approach.
Upcoming Post – Perfectionism Part II: 5 Strategies To Overcome It
