Colleague Drama 101

I’ve spoken a lot lately about being liked vs. respected at work and I encourage you to choose the latter in your work environment since when you are well respected, people tend to also enjoy your company. But sometimes colleagues just don’t get along and personalities clash. I’ve even heard horror stories of unacceptable behavior that sounds like it belongs on an afternoon reality talk show instead of the professional workplace.

Since being uncivil is childish and unproductive, I suggest you have a sincere conversation with the egregious behaving colleague to address the issue before it really festers. I recently read a scenario in the Oprah magazine that was spot on so I hope you can add this to your professional toolbox.

Here is a script for you to consider when dealing with a difficult colleague:

“I need to share something with you – please listen without responding. I know you have said ugly things about me; I did my homework before deciding to have this conversation with you.  I want you to know that your behavior is not OK with me.  Please don’t say you hope we’ll find a way to remain close – you know that is not a realistic option here.  While we are not friends, we are also not enemies. Let’s agree to move on, and we won’t have a problem.”

It’s all about teaching people how to treat you and setting up professional boundaries.  When you are faced with difficult scenarios at work you must manage these tough working relationships. Seek the wisdom of a trusted mentor or confidante and strategize about ways to diffuse a difficult colleague so they don’t have any control over you.  Power is not given, it’s taken and don’t ever let a toxic colleague steal your power.