Is Your Life Eulogy Worthy, or Resume Worthy?
David Brooks delivered a compelling TED Talk about living for your resume or your eulogy.
According to Brooks,
“The résumé virtues are the ones you put on your résumé, which are the skills you bring to the marketplace. The eulogy virtues are the ones that get mentioned in the eulogy, which are deeper: who are you, in your depth, what is the nature of your relationships, are you bold, loving, dependable, consistency? And most of us, including me, would say that the eulogy virtues are the more important of the virtues. But at least in my case, are they the ones that I think about the most? And the answer is no.”
In the career marketplace, I am observing the overwork culture wreaking havoc on the health and wellbeing of individuals striving to build a life with resume virtues that wipes out their time and space for building more meaningful relationships and eulogy virtues.
Is it possible to have both?
I believe it is possible to live a life of vitality and have a high achieving career, but it takes intentionality and commitment to set boundaries and priorities. The adage – “You can have it all but not all at the same time…” rings true.
As a recovering workaholic who can very easily backslide into a round-the-clock work cycle – I am training new muscles daily to prioritize time in my life for personal relationships and non-work activities.
Remember – the ones who will remember that you worked every weekend, every evening, and on vacations won’t be your colleagues, or your boss. Your family and friends will remember that you were not present during these times.
Career Questions to Ponder
These questions came from a savvy Harvard Business Review piece by Rebecca Knight and are worth sharing:
What could I regret in 10 years? Imagine the disappointment you might feel in the future if you don’t take certain actions today and use that as a motivating force.
How do I define and tap into my purpose? Shift from a career and life shaped by external forces and others’ agendas to one driven by what you find meaningful.
What are my values and priorities today? You may find that they’ve changed over time. Carefully consider which compromises you’re willing to make—and which ones you aren’t.
What mastery have I developed? Reflect on the skills and knowledge you’ve acquired thus far in your career and consider how you might use them to fulfill your purpose, values, and priorities.
What do I want my days to look like? As you think big, don’t lose sight of the minutia. Get microscopic and consider what you want the particulars of your daily routine to look like.
The Road to Character
David Brooks’ TED Talk comes from his book, The Road to Character,
“The resume virtues are the ones you list on your resume, the skills that you bring to the job market and that contribute to external success. The eulogy virtues are deeper. They’re the virtues that get talked about at your funeral, the ones that exist at the core of your being–whether you are kind, brave, honest or faithful; what kind of relationships you formed.”
The beauty of honoring how you develop your character throughout your life is that people with great eulogy virtues also make the best employees. Developing your character hones your emotional intelligence and how you treat others.
You can enjoy your career and love your life simultaneously and I am dedicated to working with people and organizations to empower them to do both. Give yourself permission to focus on developing your character – it may well be the distinguishing factor that people remember about you the most.
