Knowing When To Say No
The question about whether or not work/life balance is possible continues to plague many professionals. What I have learned from amazing women around the world who seem to “do it all” is that you have to pick your opportunities and work smarter – not harder.
Angela Jia Kim is featured in my book and has grown her organic skincare line Om Aroma exponentially in just a few years. She is also the co-founder of Savor the Success, a premium business network for women entrepreneurs, and she is married with a one year old daughter.
In a recent video blog (vlog) on the Savor site, Angela talks about turning down a tempting opportunity to open up another retail store in a prominent shopping mall to sell her skincare line. While the opportunity was extremely alluring and Angela’s ambitious nature and endless energy made her really want to pursue this new store – after careful consideration, she said no.
Angela shared that she needs to fire on all cylinders, all of the time but she also wants to be conscious of her health and her quality family time in addition to her businesses. She talks about working smarter, not harder in her latest vlog segment. Working from your center allows you to play to your strengths and do what comes naturally and more easily for you. If you tap this energy flow you will be working smarter and not harder.
Saying no does not make you weak! In fact, it makes you more empowered to be in control of your time and the projects you want to undertake, when you want to pursue them. You are the only one who can say no to something in your life. Liberate yourself with the notion that saying no does not always mean forever, but just not now, or until you are ready or interested in taking on the new task.
Susan Newman wrote a great book called: The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say No and Mean It. She says that saying no is a learned art since many, especially women, respond with yes because they feel guilty or obligated. To cut down on the knee-jerk and often automatic yes responses, Susan encourages you to consider the following questions first:
- Do I have time?
- Will I feel pressure to get it done?
- Will I be upset with myself?
- Will I be resentful of the other person?
- Will I feel duped, had or swindled?
- What do I have to give up in order to do this?
- What can I gain? (What’s in it for me?)
Since women are often taught to be nurturing and caring, we have a tougher time saying no since the yes response can also feed our need for approval. I leave you with the notion that you need to nurture yourself first since every opportunity deserves your careful consideration and you need to decide how you want to spend your precious time. Bottom line, we can’t do it all – all of the time. But we can pick and choose when we want to do things and prioritize what’s important in our lives so make sure to put yourself at the top of that list!
