What do you do?
We typically ask a new acquaintance, “What do you do?” and default to probing about their career or work endeavors. I quickly share that I am a speaker and executive coach when I meet someone new because as an entrepreneur, business development is always top of mind.
As a career driven and ambitious individual, I am also recovering from burnout. Thinking about my life outside of my work helped me reimagine my relationship to work and gave me permission to enjoy my life more, which has ironically boosted my career.
I have finally come to understand that my worth is not defined by my title, productivity, or financial status. And I am joyously prioritizing the non-work parts of my life in addition to my career.
Time Sanctuaries
Simone Stolzoff gave an amazing TED Talk that truly resonated with me. What time are you prioritizing that are spaces where work is not an option? It requires “infrastructure” according to Stolzoff, to put things on a calendar or turn off devices to untether from technology and distractions.
- How can you be a more present, parent, spouse, parent, friend or sibling?
- How can you enjoy non-work time with play, activities, or hobbies that are meaningful to you?
- When was the last time you did something just for fun without an agenda or a goal in mind?
Diversify Your Identity
According to Stolzoff, we need to prioritize things that are not work related. These need not be grand gestures like writing a book or running a marathon. Start small like scheduling a daily walk with a friend or practicing the piano you haven’t played in years after dinner for 20 minutes.
Reflect on how you feel and how this play time energizes other aspects of your life. I’m confident you will be pleasantly surprised.
Rest and Renewal
Not sure where to begin? Start by protecting your non-work hours — not just for rest, but for renewal. Elite athletes work extremely hard in preparation for competitions, and then they rest, to recuperate and rejuvenate, so they can be ready for the next match, game, or tournament. The rest of us can learn a lot from the sports pros.
Block time for something that has nothing to do with output and everything to do with your joy and creative expression. Try painting, journaling, dancing or cooking for fun — whatever reminds you of who you are outside of work.
Rather than defaulting to asking new connections “What do you do?” Simone Stolzoff suggests asking “What do you like to do?” instead. The reason? The question allows people to define themselves on their own terms, not just how much they contribute to one organization’s bottom line.
The Paradox
The irony is that upping your playtime and creative non-work endeavors makes you better at your work. These are the best ways to recharge so you can be more productive, solution oriented, and focused when you are working.
What you create, learn, and care about outside of work matters, too. Your self -worth is not determined by your job title.
If you are what you do and you lose your job, who are you? Having outside interests are an investment in you as well as your community. Civil societies flourish when people have interests, causes, and convictions beyond work. This makes us better people and better citizens.
The next time you meet someone new, instead of asking What do you do? – ask: What do you like to do? Stolzoff’s simple reframe empowers you to define yourself on your terms.
