Ramp Up Your Self Confidence

March 9, 2011 by Leave a Comment

One of the biggest hurdles I see with job seekers and even many employed professionals is that they lack self confidence. While some people have abundant self confidence in their genes, others need to cultivate it and this all starts with positive self affirmation.

It’s easy to criticize and beat yourself up for your weaknesses but the reality is you are not broken and you deserve to focus on what you do well. There are enough negative people in the world that will focus on what you need to improve upon so give yourself a break and focus on what you do really well.

If you believe you are good enough – you will be! The bottom line is that you are not perfect and you need to get used to it. If you focus your energies on playing to your strengths you can let go of your inner judge and relax into your natural talents.

Once you give yourself permission to recognize and play to your strengths, don’t be afraid to tout your accomplishments. You deserve the accolades that you have earned. It’s really important in a job interview or a performance evaluation to be able to articulate what you do really well.

Do yourself a favor and keep a log for an entire week of all the things you do really well from the personal to the professional and look back and reflect upon what makes you great. The list may astound you because you spend so much time focusing on the weakness that you rarely give yourself a pat on the back for what you do well.

I read an article from Pick the Brain – Grow Yourself online that suggested these wonderful ways to ramp up your self confidence. Perception is reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the woman, they certainly affect the way she feels about herself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance.


2. Good Posture

The way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

3. Personal Commercial

Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud whenever you need a confidence boost.

4. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for.

5. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people.

6. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

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Please Don’t Talk Like You Text

March 1, 2011 by 3 Comments

I’m fascinated by technology and how it has changed the way we communicate. With my day job on a college campus, I marvel at the students who walk out of class either talking on the phone or texting as they move towards their new destination. Texting while walking may soon become as dangerous as texting while driving.

While the technology has empowered us to communicate faster and in ways that we never could before, it has also reduced in-person communication with eye contact and full sentences. Text-speak is very valuable when you are on a smart phone or operating within the 140 Twitter character limit but I caution you to not lose your ability to speak out loud as it is essential in the professional world.

To be fair, I am not just pointing a finger at the college student demographic. Many younger professionals have been reprimanded by bosses who represent a different generation when responding to an assignment with a text or Tweet. Remember, the workplace is multi-generational and even if your older boss is capable of using technology, she may just prefer the old fashioned way of talking with you face-to face.

Text-language has even permeated our spoken word since it is not uncommon to hear “LOL” and “OMG” recited out loud. It may seem cool that Anderson Cooper has used audible text-language on his show but I would strongly encourage you not to use this in your professional work environment. Comedians are sprinkling in “WTF” in their verbal skits since they know it is guaranteed a laugh but I am hopeful that they would not use it in a professional situation.

Innovation is fascinating and enriching and I applaud technology in every way. I text, I Tweet, and I have become a social media maven to market my blog, book, and speaking engagements, but when it comes to professional communication I do my best to be well spoken and articulate.

At the risk of sounding old fashioned, my fear is that people will lose their ability to speak with other humans face-to-face if we do not keep these skills sharp. At least for now, the majority of job interviews are being conducted in-person so the employer can see and hear you up close. It would be wise for all of us to keep our conversational skills sharp since this may distinguish us from people who lose their power of speech due to lack of use some day.

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Interviewing Tips – The Goldman Way

February 2, 2011 by 1 Comment

Goldman Sachs has long been a coveted company to work at for those on the corporate finance career track. They have their recruitment process down to a science and even share the secrets to successful interviews with prospective hires in a video on their website.

Vivia Chen recently wrote an article that tells hungry Goldman wanna-be’s their strategy for successful interviewing. The advice is applicable to many career fields and certainly worth sharing.

First, the Dos:

1. Make a list of your qualifications–academic and work experiences. Goldman’s favorite buzz terms are “team orientation,” “leadership potential,” “problem-solving,” and “creativity.”

2. Create a narrative about why you are applying for a particular job or firm.

3. Practice your talking points and memorize the names of the interviewers (assuming you know beforehand).

4. Develop a conversational, confident tone. This requires practice–if not an acting coach; it’s not easy bragging about yourself in a non-bragging way.

And now for the Don’ts:

1. Don’t come off being clueless as to why you are interviewing for the job.

2. Don’t ask about mundane things like money and benefits. The mantra is to snag the offer, then ask about what you really care about later.

3. Don’t get lost on the way to the interview. Studying the subway map ten minutes before your appointment is not advisable.

4. Don’t send a thank-you letter by mail (too slow) or call (too awkward). But do send a thank-you e-mail. **Her point is debatable since I still prefer the hand-written note!

What really makes a Goldman interview the gold standard are the “competency” questions that it throws at interviewees. The video says the idea behind a “behavioral” or “case studies” interview is to see how candidates solve problems. Take this question: “How many manhole covers are there in New York City?” The video says you could multiply 12 avenues by 150 streets to get 1,800 manhole covers. That answer “may or may not be correct,” says the video, but it demonstrates “an approach.”

Bottom line – be prepared.  Interviewing well takes practice!

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If I Can Tweet – So Can You!

December 8, 2010 by 1 Comment

I’ll be the first to admit I was skeptical about using Twitter to promote my book and career consulting business but now I am hooked. Social Media is a very efficient way to get your message out to the masses, expand your horizons, and build your network. The biggest perk is that it’s free so if you are not using it to promote you or your business, you should seriously consider it.

Since tweeting can be daunting at first, I’d like to share 10 Twitter Tips for Beginners that I learned from Sean Ludwig who writes for PCMag. So what is Twitter anyway? It’s a free service that lets account holders micro-blog using 140 characters at a time. Recent statistics report 190 million Twitter users so this really is an incredible resource for making connections.

Here are Sean’s 10 Twitter tips to make your new tweeting experience easy:

  1. Shrink your URLs so you don’t have to waste characters on very long web addresses. A popular URL shortening service that is free is bitly.com.
  2. RT=Retweet. If you want to copy and paste someone else’s tweet, have at it but be sure to give the original tweeter credit. Put “RT@name” in front of their tweet and post it again yourself.
  3. Direct Messaging. With Twitter’s direct-messaging (DM) function, you can send a private 140-character message to another user, kind of like abbreviated e-mail. However, you can only direct message Twitter users that are following you.
  4. Use the @ Sign. To create a reply or to give someone props on Twitter, simply place an @ sign in front of their Twitter name. If it is a reply, the @ sign must be the first character of the tweet. To see replies to your own tweets, click on @Replies from your profile page.
  5. Search for Your Friends. Search.twitter.com works well for finding your friends or organizations, or for searching for specific topics of interest.
  6. Categorize Your Tweets for Added Visibility. If you’re tweeting about a popular subject (Obama, Trueblood etc) putting a # in front of the subject makes it easy for others to find your tweet, and perhaps they will want to follow you.
  7. Share Pictures. People love sharing their photos with the world and services like TwitPic let users easily upload their photos and post them directly to Twitter.
  8. Tweet From Your Phone. Twitter allows you to update your status and receive updates via text message. Under Settings, go to the Devices tab and enter your phone number to start sending and receiving mobile tweets. If your incoming tweets/texts are overwhelming you, disable this option by going back to the same panel and following the instructions.
  9. Pick a Good Desk Top Client. With desktop clients such as TweetDeck, Twhirl, and TwitterFox, you can receive tweets in a much more manageable fashion, especially if you follow a lot of people, respond often, and use direct messages a lot.

10.  Download a Mobile Client. If you have a BlackBerry, an iPhone, or another smartphone with Wi-Fi or 3G access, a mobile client might be a better option than using text messages. Mobile Twitter clients worth checking out include Twitterific, TwitterBerry, PocketTweets, and Twidroid.

Thanks to Sean for sharing his expert Twitter advice. Happy tweeting and I hope you will consider following me on Twitter at:  CDowdHiggins.

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Establish a Gossip Free Workplace

November 17, 2010 by Leave a Comment

I read a fascinating New York Times article by Shayla McKnight who shared a story about her job interview with an online printing company based in Livingston, Montana and the Human Resources Manager who was clear about the no-gossip policy and no office politics rule before she was even hired. While McKnight thought the policy was refreshing it also seemed hard to believe. She was even asked to sign the company’s agreement to values form when she accepted the position. After experiencing a variety of toxic work environments where gossip and back stabbing was the norm, McKnight says that her current workplace is a dream come true. There is a real sense of trust and teamwork and the positive environment is palpably different than any other she has experienced.

So how do you realistically achieve this workplace nirvana and encourage buy-in from all colleagues for a gossip free work zone? A big factor is accountability and making sure everyone is onboard for the new and healthy attitude. A values agreement or contract that is devised by the team can be a great place to start. When colleagues are part of developing a new system or set of expectations they have more vested interest in the success of the program.

In reality, it all boils down to how individuals communicate. McKnight’s company uses a communications assessment to determine a person’s dominant communications style. If someone types as a “red” they appreciate directness while a “blue” enjoys having all the details and time to process. “Yellows” are spontaneous and enjoy personal connection and the “greens” are sensitive and tend to be compassionate and supportive.

Name plates on each person’s desk identify their dominant color and this information is also accessible in the company data base if you are not within visual range of a name plate and want to approach a co-worker in a way that is most appropriate for their style. The system promotes harmony with in-person, phone, and email communication as well as company strategy implementation and goal setting.

There are many different personality assessments that stem from the Jung based Myers-Briggs Type Inventory (MBTI) that may be appropriate for your work environment. Whether you code people with letters, symbols, or colors – they key is to be aware of how different styles of communication can work together harmoniously on the job. The key is awareness and the willingness to work with and not against the grain of each individual.

As for the gossip free workplace, I am all for it since a healthy work environment is more pleasant and more productive for all.

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The Ultimate Personal Branding Resource

October 18, 2010 by Leave a Comment

I had a great conversation with Dan Schawbel who authored Me 2.0: 4 Steps to Building Your Future (Kaplan Publishing). Dan was named by Inc Magazine as one of America’s Coolest 30 Under 30 Entrepreneurs. At 27, he is a sought after internet guru who helps businesses and individuals with creative branding solutions.

With 91,000 Twitter followers and a maxed out Facebook account of over 5,000 friends, Fast Company calls Dan a “personal branding force of nature.” He is the founder of the Personal Branding Blog®, which was the #1 job blog by Careerbuilder in 2008 & 2009, is an AdAge top marketing blog and is syndicated by Reuters, Forbes, Fox Business and other major networks. As a brand futurist, Dan was one of the first seven bloggers to have their own iPhone application.

His book is chock full of great advice for all ages but his target audience is the millennial generation to which he also belongs. The goal of the book is to help others succeed in the job search and stand out from the crowd. On his entrepreneurial quest, Dan shared “You must be the commander of your career.” His strategy is built upon four pillars he believes are essential for all job seekers.

Discover: Figure out who you are. Think long term as well as short term about the career you want, not just the job you have.

Create: Develop your personal branding toolkit and your personal marketing plan. This will include your resume, cover letter, portfolio, and personal website.  But also set up targeted accounts in Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter to maximize your online presence.

Communicate: Make sure your voice is heard! Network online and offline, use social networks to comment intelligently on blogs and link back to your website. This is a daily commitment and an investment in your time but it will empower you to be competitive in the marketplace. Create your own buzz and control your own message.

Maintain: Figure out what the rules of engagement are in the workplace. Keep your sites updated and manage any negative or positive comments your posts receive online. Establish your own Board of Directors who have been there and done that to help you plan your 5, 10, and 15 year career goals.

With the internet as the global talent pool, everybody needs to be searchable. The old adage that you have to network before you need it was never truer, but according to Dan “You have to own your online presence before someone else does.” So it’s time to get out there and take control of your own brand to find and thrive in a job you will love. Check out Dan’s book for more terrific wisdom about making the most of your online presence to brand yourself and build your career future. Dan Schawbel is a millennial on a personal branding mission and his advice is spot on!

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Speak Up for Yourself!

September 13, 2010 by Leave a Comment

In the business culture of 2010 it’s still widespread for the gender roles to be strongly defined with (often supported) male aggressive behavior and female deferent behavior. Ladies, I urge you to take more control of your professional persona and speak up at work!

According to Dr. Linda Tillman, a licensed Clinical Psychologist and founder of SpeakUpForYourself.com being assertive is an honest and authentic expression of one’s feelings, opinions, and needs. It is often associated with positive self-esteem and a better self image. When you communicate assertively you express what you want in a clear manner respecting the rights and feelings of others as well as your own.

Aggressive behavior can be filled with anger, bullying, subjugation and punishing language to infer guilt or shame. This is nasty stuff and we’ve all seen it in action. I urge you all to be empowered at work and in life and embrace your inner confidence to speak up and communicate with power so you are valued and heard.

We’ve all heard the powerless and ineffective communication trap that some women fall into by letting their tone rise at the end of a sentence indicating a question when it should be a declarative statement.  Pop your inner vocal helium balloon and end your statements with conviction. I call this a sturdy dismount when ending a sentence and encourage my students and clients to envision a gymnast landing solidly into the floor after a flip on a balance beam.

Dr. Tillman also echoes my strong feelings about women who over apologize. Save the “I’m sorry” for when you’ve actually done something wrong. So many women use this as filler and a way to excuse yourself for little things that don’t need excusing. Life happens – just apologize for the big and relevant things.

So how do you become more assertive and communicate with power? Here are some tips from Dr. Tillman that we can all learn from.

  • Develop a value and belief system that allows you to assert yourself. Give yourself permission to be angry, or to say no, or to make mistakes. You are human after all.
  • Resist giving in to interruptions until you have finished what you have to say. You can assertively respond: “Just a moment, I haven’t finished.”
  • Stop self limiting behaviors such as over smiling, over nodding, tilting your head or avoiding another person’s gaze. Eye contact is powerful, use it to your advantage.
  • Listen and let people know you heard what they have said.
  • Use “I” language to be clear and constructive about your feelings:
    • When you do (behavior)…the effects are (results) and I feel (emotion).

You need to practice assertive behavior so it becomes natural and second nature to you. Enlist trusted family and friends for constructive feedback and reward yourself when you achieve a desirable result due to assertive behavior. By being assertive you will raise your professional clout at work and command the respect you deserve.

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Debra Fine – Keynote Speaker, Trainer, Best Selling Author

September 13, 2010 by Leave a Comment

First an engineer and then a stay at home Mom, Debra Fine experienced a life transformation that led to a new career. After shedding 70 pounds and experiencing a painful and complicated divorce, Debra found herself a single mother with two small children and no income. With a renewed sense of self awareness after the weight loss, Debra literally began to watch and listen to people and study their conversations. A self described awkward and dorky youngster who excelled at school but not with interpersonal skills, Debra evolved into her authentic self and found her pearl within. [Read more...]

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Engage All Learning Styles When You Present

May 17, 2010 by 1 Comment

One of my great professional joys is communication coaching. I find it incredibly rewarding when I have a breakthrough with a client or student who gains empowering self confidence when they feel positively about how they deliver a presentation or succeed in an interview.

Public speaking can be terrifying for many. In addition to learning the particulars of good diction, effective posture, supported breathing, and owning your stage presence, a strong presentation depends on how well you connect with your audience. Whether you are leading a small meeting in the company board room or presenting to the masses in a large auditorium, your success hinges on how well your spectators absorb your message.

Individuals respond to different stimuli when viewing a presentation.

  • Print learners are book lovers and appreciate and respond to words and text.
  • Auditory learners are music lovers and are engaged by what they hear.
  • Visual learners are art lovers and are stimulated by images, colors, and pictures.
  • Kinesthetic learners like activity and need to physically interact with the material.

When you present, make sure that you honor all of these learning styles and engage your audience with unique and customized approaches that cover all the bases.

For the Print learners, in addition to your Power Point slides, provide take-away materials or hand-outs for post presentation reflection. For the Visual learners, mix it up a little and add images or video to your text slides. The Auditory learners will respond to your vocal inflections. Remember the power of the pause – silence can be just as effective as sound. Add music or sound effects to really energize this group.

With Kinesthetic learners you need to incorporate them into the action. Provide interactive opportunities to engage the group or mix Q&A into the presentation instead of waiting until the end. These learners like to feel, so if appropriate, pass around a sample of your product or a relevant prop. You can also encourage them to take notes and provide them with note pads or pens.

Next time you are listening to someone else present, be aware of how your absorb information. This will help you engage your audience and will make you more cognizant of engaging all four learning styles the next time you are up at bat.

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The Five G’s of Effective Communication

April 22, 2010 by 1 Comment

I had the great pleasure of hearing Kathleen Oliver, COO of Oliver Winery speak at a professional development workshop recently. In her position at the winery, Kathleen manages the retail operation of the business, oversees the activities of the tasting room, special events, and human resources so she communicates with a very large staff daily.

Kathleen offered these five tips for effective communication that I believe are universal to us all.

1. Get to the point.

Communicating your point effectively and efficiently is essential in a professional setting. In a business where time is money, getting to the point can make or break a deal. Be sure to stay on track and avoid tangents and rambling. Stay focused, and relay your message with clarity and confidence.

2. Get to know others.

With a large staff it’s easy to lose faces in the crowd and not address people by name. Make a point to get to know people within your department and beyond in your organization. Try and address people personally and learn about others so you can have meaningful interactions. Develop a system to remember names. Kathleen uses photos of her employees on a bulletin board in her office so she can call each of them by name.

3. Get along.

Follow the Golden Rule and treat others as you wish to be treated. It’s that simple and applies to everybody at all levels within an organization.

4. Get off the computer and get on the phone.

In this technology driven era it’s easy to rely on email as the only way to communicate. Especially in a client driven business, pick up the phone and make a personal connection. You may remember the old AT&T slogan “Reach out and touch someone.” It’s important to make that call when you can and whenever possible, an in-person meeting is best.

5. Get out of the office.

Be involved in your community and become an ambassador for your organization. Kathleen encourages her staff to volunteer and build their personal and professional relationships beyond the workplace. It’s good for the individuals and ultimately, it’s good for the company.

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